Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Balancing Homeschool and Marriage: How I Make Time For Us, Plus 6 Little Things

Don't worry. This post isn't "TMI." I'm not that kind of gal. This post also won't be filled with Bible verses, telling you to submit to your husband's every need. I'm not that kind of gal, either. Now that you know what this post isn't, let's jump into what it is. I love my husband. I do. I want him to always know this. I like hanging out with him, too. That's precisely why I married him, so I could hang out with him, whenever I want.

Homeschool changed the dynamics of our relationship, slightly. I'm busier now. I have tons of planning to do, papers to grade, cubbies to fill, etcetera. These "extras" can cut into our time, if I let it. So this post is a quick explanation of how I make time for us. Reminder: It's not about that.

My husband and I are both night owls, thankfully. After the last kid is in bed, we still have a good 2 hours left in us. When we first started homeschooling, this was the time I would grade papers, make lesson plans, and set up for the next day. Not a smart move, on my part. My husband missed me, and I missed him. So these days, I plan only on Sunday, but for the whole week. Then, as soon as we finish school each day, I set up for the next day. I also grade their papers as we go along. It makes for a full school day, and sometimes takes away from my household chores, but it's totally worth it. I really enjoy the time I have with my husband, to just be adults and watch a movie, or have an actual conversation.

Below, I've listed a few other little things I do, to keep my husband feeling like he matters:

1. I greet him, when he gets home. I know it seems outdated, perhaps it is, but I honestly am excited to see him at the end of the day, and I want him to know this. I don't take his coat and briefcase or anything, he can put his own bleep away. 

2. I cook his favorites, even though I don't necessarily like them. On the flip side, I cook my favorites too. Fair is fair.

3. I gussy up a tad (I'm talking VERY minimal. Think mascara, lip gloss, and removing my ponytail.), before he gets home. Another silly one, I know, but I just don't want to appear like the "walking dead," when he arrives.

4. I call him and/or text him several times a day, just to see how his day is going. Yet another outdated one? Maybe, but I really am curious to know how he is, and what he's up to. He calls me several times, refuses to text.

5. I gross out my kids. I don't wait for them to not be in the room, to smooch their father. I'm not talking full on make-out, but a quick kiss, a back rub, or a cuddle on the couch. This isn't just good for our marriage, but for our kids to see as well. Kids, believe it or not, want to see and know their parents love each other.

6. I force him to take me away, every anniversary. We don't live near family, and I don't leave my kids with sitters. Date nights for us consist of putting the kids to bed, and eating a special meal I've cooked, just for the two of us. So, once a year, I dump my kids at my mom's, and run away with my love. It's my favorite time of the year, ha!

The purpose of this post is just to remind you to make time for the two of you, and to share with you what works for us. Take a moment, to evaluate your days. Then, plan a little alone time where you see it's possible. Enjoy your spouse. I mean, isn't that why you got married? 

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